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# 2 - The Early Years & The Link to Your Pain - Changed Focus

# 2 – The Early Years & The Link to Your Pain

When we feel any type of pain, it is a telling sign that there is either a past, or current painful experience going on in the body.

When it comes to emotional pain, this is a message from a wound telling us that it needs addressing.

Oftentimes, what we feel, is an insight as to what we think about ourselves.

When we have negative thoughts about ourselves, our bodies can respond to this with a complimentary negative feeling.

But, we can learn to hone in on the emotion we’re feeling. Or better still, the experience – because it is an experience.

We can make this a priority and give it the undivided attention it deserves.

But, unfortunately for most of us, we get lost in what we’re thinking about the emotion, and whatever it relates to, and not the feeling.

We become easily absorbed with the reason why we feel this pain, so we then start an inner dialogue, or story, to attach on to.

The very moment we start a story is the very moment when we become lost.

If we hone in on the emotional experience, we can get to the root of the pain. We can really investigate this pain. Feel every ounce of it and understand it.

So it is the stories about ourselves that contribute to much of our pain.

Which means that any beliefs we have are not at the forefront of our minds – they are at the core of our wounds.

So, what we think about ourselves stems from a wound (trauma of some kind), and this wound creates negative beliefs.

These wounds can develop from a multitude of reasons.

They might be from childhood. Perhaps we had a physically or emotionally abusive one.

Or, it may be the simple fact of not being spoken to or generally treated correctly as a child. It doesn’t take much you know.

Or, our parents were unconsciously rubbing their negative outlook on life to us.

Unfortunately, most of our parents can only do what they think is right, and know.

Their beliefs are usually adopted as a result of their childhood, so they pass them on to us unconsciously.

Unbeknownst to us – as children – we can innocently trigger the unhealed wounds of our parents and hit their pain on a profound level.

This makes them react unfavorably towards us, which can create fresh wounds and pain on top of the existing ones we already have.

And so the cycle repeats.

As a result of this, we are then forced to live with the belief that we have done something wrong, so guilt sets in, which then impacts our self-esteem.

The upsetting thing is – children feel terrible about themselves when they are made to carry guilt.

It is one of the most punishable offences they can ever carry. Such a heavy load.

So, what happens is that the painful emotions we feel – the ones that innocently triggered our parents’ wounds – are the ones we do not feel by perhaps crying.

We should cry. Our body want us to, but we are more worried that we may trigger our parents once again, so we learn to suppress what we feel.

Imagine this over countless years as a child?

Then this becomes learnt behavior. It becomes a habit – a ‘go to’ – through teenage years, and finally stays with us as we enter into adulthood.

And all along we don’t know any different.

So this should give you some deeper information as to where your pain can come from, and why we held on to it.

Article #3 will follow.

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